I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
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