idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
