I wannas sexs uuuuu
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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