Having a random hookup so left but love u
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
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