I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Randomize
