For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Randomize
