Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize