i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Randomize
