# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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