I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
