Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
