Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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