i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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