i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
