Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
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