Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
