Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Two words: blizzard sex
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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