im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Randomize
