dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
