I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
