I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
