she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
how can u be prego again
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
