I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
