The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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