apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
