OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize