yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Randomize
