he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
