I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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