Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
you win again, gameday.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize