Fine. I'll sleep in my office
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
