i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
