I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Randomize
