I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
