i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
