dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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