Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
