To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize