Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
