ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Randomize
