Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
