And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Randomize
