Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
