And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
