Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
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