so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i think i scared a bird with my dick
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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