my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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