i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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