we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
