Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
