Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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