If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize