Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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