We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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