you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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