Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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