atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
time to smoke my breakfast
It was confusing and full of hummus
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
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