can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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