I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
