I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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