you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
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