Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
