he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
