Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I will pee on everything he values.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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